Thursday, October 31, 2002
My approval ratings are down? Ratings, schmatings. I'm still the President, and these pollsterfiers can stick their approval ratings up their lilly-white Muslamic assholes.
Oh well...At least we're gonna have us one swingin' Halloween party.
Drewcifer posted this at 5:50 PM.
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
These mid-term elections are drivin' me crazy.
First, that mobsterfied Torricelli drops out and them Soprano watching Dem'crats in Jersey bring in that old quitter Lautenburg. And them idiots are vote this old geezer back in! Tell ya what...Daddy shoulda had Neil become Governor up there. Then we'da had this thing licked.
Then we get Wellstone takin' care of (heheheh...) and they haul out Mondale's ol' bones outta the crypt.
Who's suppoed to do all the thinkin' around here?
At least Jeb aint gonna have a problem. McBride leadin' in the polls? Let him think he's got a shot! Any liberal asshole should know better than to mess with the Bush family. Especially in Florida!
Just like you don't mess with Texas!
Drewcifer posted this at 10:54 PM.
Mondale?
Them sick bastards in Minnysoda wanna have Mondale run in wellstone's place? Doesn't make a lick of sense to me. Daddy says he and that senile old man put him outta business years ago. Somethin' like 49 states voted against him? I really don't remember. I spent most of them years in a cocaine-filled haze. Last I heard, he was the Ambassadorial guy in Japan. Hangin' out with them slanty-eyed, sushi-eatin' people that Daddy puked all over. Wish he had still been there when I took office, 'cuz I'da booted his sissy-pants Democratic ass back to Millersoter faster than a dog shot in the ass on my ranch.
Can't say I care too much for that State anyhoo. They didn't vote fer me in 2000 (well hell, neither did the rest of the country, but I aint goin' there). And they actually voted fer that rassler for Governer. That boy needs to get outta the Governer's Mansion and get his ass in the trailer park with Hacksaw Jim Duggan and drank some brewskies...
Hey, that ain't a bad idea!
Drewcifer posted this at 1:55 AM.
Sunday, October 27, 2002
Gonna have to make a phone call tonight, cuz it's Game 7 of the World Series. Karl says I can't have too many beers until after I call the winner. He says I can't be slurrifying cuz everyone in Amerrca will be hearing me. I guess I need to figger out what I'm gonna say...
"Congtulations to y'all. This Series capture the 'ttention of all of Amerrca. Y'all kicked the Giants/Angels asses like what I'm gonna do to Saddaam!"
Yeah! That's what I'll say!
Speaking of Saddam...
I been tellin' everyone 'bout how Saddaam gasses his own people, and that's why we're gonna whuup up on him and take his oil. Now I find out my soulmate Putin really done ackcherlly did it. What am I supposed to do now? I can't go to war with Russia (at least that's what Daddy told me). I mean I saw the man's soul fer dangssakes.
Screw Karl...I'm gonna have a shot of Dewars anyway...
Drewcifer posted this at 9:07 PM.
Saturday, October 26, 2002
Just kickin' back today. havin' some Tecate, eatin' pretzels and watchin' some college football. Go Longhorns! Makes me miss mah days as a cheerleader back at Yale. Man, them were the days.
Come Monday, ah think I'm gonna talk to Karl and O'Neill about this Where's George thing. Looks like a buncha damn hippiefied liberals stampin' these dollar bills with the website WheresGeorge.com on 'em. Shoot, anyone with half a brain knows that when I'm not in Crawford or camp David, ah'm on the road raisin' money for decent, God-fearing Republicans. Ah think a better website would be Where'sDick.com. Hehehehe...Sometimes ah just crack mahself up.
Drewcifer posted this at 3:19 PM.
Friday, October 25, 2002
Well, dang. Uncle Dick says that everything that happens in America comes down on me in one way or 'nother. Anything good, ah get to take credit fer, and anything bad ah get to blame on Clinton. Whoo hoo! Daddy was right about gettin' these people in mah administration. Karl's kickin' ass fer me!
That sniper that was runnin' around killing them people (Clinton's fault) finally got caught (Thanks to me!). Kinda sucks, cuz I gotta give Cheif Moose a Madal or somethin'. Maybe I'll appoint him to something like deputy of Homeland Security or somethin'. Dang. Now what are we gonna do around here? The anthrax mailer quit and is hiding, so I'm gonna need a distraction before election day. Gonna have to ask Karl and Uncle Dick about that. Can't let them abortion lovin', Jesus hating Democrats win anything.
Meanwhile, a buncha Aussies were killed in Bali. Now maybe I can get that country fulla British prisoners to side with me on Iraq. And maybe they'll send me a lifetime supply of that sweet tasting Fosters! If they do, ah hope they don't tell Laura. She's all mad at me fer them shots of Southern Comfort I did with Jenna the other night. Maybe I'll sweet talk her tonight, and get some First Lady pie at Camp David this weekend
Drewcifer posted this at 9:13 PM.
