Saturday, January 17, 2004

 
If I wasn't running for President....

I'd totally vote for this guy.

But I really have dick to worry about, right?

I mean, this guy is what? A Four-Star General? So what? How many of our troops died under General Clark's command? The best thing this guy ever did was rescue some white Euro-trash from some other of the same type.

Shit... General Clark wants to challenge me on militaristic matters?

I think my record speaks for itself.

Drewcifer posted this at 2:15 AM.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

 
We may have to go to CODE ORANGE again...

I've got a sneaking suspicion that there might be another plane crash.

Maybe even two plane crashes.



Jesus...where's Andy with those burgers?
Drewcifer posted this at 2:49 AM.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

 
They hate us because they envy our freedom.

That's why we are giving them more freedom in Iraq. Slowly but surely, we're winning the Iraqi's hearts and minds, one bullet at a time. Or so Rummy tells me anyway.

Hell yeah! What we're doing is awesome!
Drewcifer posted this at 2:56 AM.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

 
SHIT!!!

Someone just pointed out to me something....

Wesley Clark was the NATO Commander when my predecessorwas in office. Somebody better warn America what these people are all about before someone starts calling this guy an American Hero.

Note to self: have Unka Dick check into flight plans on Clark and Dean...

Drewcifer posted this at 4:37 AM.

 
WHEW!!!

Shit, I made it to Twenty-oh-four, and life is good!!

Honestly, I have no clue what went on in '03, but who cares, right? Apparently there's some lawsuit agaist me. Like I care about what happened in '01. (Actually, I keep mentioning Nine-One-One in speeches...I wish someone would tell me what that's all about.)

But like Tommy-boy Ridge said, no terrorist attacks on New Years Eve means we did good! We upped that alert thing and made sure no terrorists bombed anybody here in the US. Damn, we're good!

All I gotta do at this point is play the war hero thing that I've been doing. I mean, seriously...who out there can match my wartime heroics? Shit...Nobody...as far as I know...
If there were ever a General to send troops into a battle situation and not lose a single one...shit, I'd vote for him too.


Drewcifer posted this at 4:21 AM.